The Messy Creative Process Behind My Self-Published Romance Novel

No, I don’t have a writing routine.

I know that’s the first thing people ask when they find out you’ve written a book. What’s your process? How many hours a day? Do you wake up early and write with coffee? Or are you a night owl with candles and playlists?

None of that. I write when I’m restless. When I should be doing something else. When I’m angry, or exhausted, or full of a feeling I don’t know how to name. I write when I don’t want to say something out loud, but still need to get it out.

There are weeks I don’t write anything. Then there are nights I write three chapters without looking up. I’ve written scenes on my phone, on scraps of receipts, recording voice notes, on the notes app while not at my laptop. I don’t write every day. I write when I have to.

And I used to feel guilty about that. Like I wasn’t a real writer unless I had a structure, a method, a clean desk with a word count tracker. I tried the routines. I made spreadsheets. Downloaded apps. Joined productivity groups. None of it stuck.

What stuck was this: when something is too loud inside me, writing is the only way to lower the volume.

So no, I don’t have a routine. But I have something that works for me. Something that isn’t pretty or consistent or worthy of a YouTube vlog, but it’s real. And it got me through a full manuscript.

Not the Beginning, Not the End didn’t happen because I sat down every day at the same time. It happened because I let the mess happen on the page. Because I let myself write without waiting to be in the "right mindset." Because I needed to finish something, even if it wasn’t perfect.

If you’re a writer who feels like they’re doing it wrong, you’re not. Some of us need the chaos. Some of us build books from fragments and feelings and the space between everything else.

There’s no right way to do this. There’s only your way. And if you’re still finding it? That counts too.

V.